Empathy is not Soft its Strategic
After a week out of town, I arrived home late and parked the car outside the garage. The next morning, the back window had been smashed. It appeared to be a malicious act. The force was so severe that pieces of glass landed on the dashboard, despite the smash-and-grab protective coating. Glass was scattered across the boot and back seat. Nothing was stolen; this was an act of vandalism.
We live in a secure estate, yet suddenly my personal safety felt uncertain. My weekend instantly changed. At that moment, the technical issue was a broken window. The human issue was stress, violation, inconvenience, and vulnerability.
Then the numerous interactions began.
First came the estate security guards. Simon said, “We did not patrol last night because of the rain, so we only saw the damage this morning.”
Tshepo, the second guard to arrive said, “I’m sorry this happened. Let me show you where the cameras are positioned and help you report it.” Same process. Different impact.
Then I called the insurance call centre. It was the weekend, so the phone rang and rang. Finally, an agent answered:
“Policy number? Date of incident? Hold please.”
After a while, a second agent came on the line:
“Mr Tanton, I’m sorry this happened to you. Was anything stolen? We will sort this out together.”
Same limitation. Different experience.
On the Tuesday after the long weekend, the auto glass company called. After confirming the damage, the first agent responded:
“Earliest booking is next week. The branch will call you.”
A few minutes later, a second agent called:
“Sir, we are fully booked, but let me see if I can find a cancellation because I understand you need to use your vehicle and it needs to be secured.”
Same constraint. Different leadership mindset.
Empathy will not magically replace the glass, catch the culprit, or erase the hassle of administration. What empathy can do is reduce anxiety, build trust, improve cooperation, and help people think clearly in difficult moments.
That is why empathy is strategic not a soft response to a difficult situation.
In business, many organisations focus only on systems, scripts, and procedures. Yet customers in times of stress often do not remember those processes; they remember how they were treated. When people are frustrated, shocked, angry, or vulnerable, empathy becomes a performance tool in the hands of the person serving them. It should never be underestimated because it:
- Calms emotion
- Creates trust
- Speeds up resolution
- Protects reputation
- Turns negative moments into loyalty moments
Systems help processes run smoothly, but they cannot understand the human condition behind a situation. People interact with people, and they can bring calmness and reassurance to tense moments or they can create even more stress. Without empathy, situations can escalate and negatively impact how people feel and react.
Leaders are responsible for unlocking the best in the people by sharing inspirational messages and modelling empathetic behaviour. They are also responsible for the systems and processes that must be managed well to ensure effectiveness. Great leaders look at each situation and need to put people first.
That broken back window revealed an important truth: in moments of disruption, people do not only need solutions. They need humanity.
Leaders should remember that team members may be dealing with their own broken windows which you cannot see. There could be stress, fear, grief, overload, or uncertainty. Policies and systems matter and are critical to great customer service, nonetheless we need to strive to be more empathetic because empathy, often determines whether people disengage or start to recover.
Clients remember those who tried to understand their context and situation before following a mechanical process. Which security guard or agent would you prefer to speak to?
Empathy is not a weakness; it can turn a transaction into a trust relationship, which in business has far greater value than efficient service.
Ready to lead with empathy? Book a free consultation with Paul
Have a great week.
Paul Tanton
Leadership Entrepreneur and Coach
